Revelations. They come unexpectedly. I can't say I'm sure, but I have a strong feeling I was talking to the holy spirit last night. Ignoring the pastors words I was arguing with the holy spirit in my mind.
I said "I'd rather burn in hell with the ones I love than sit alone in heaven. It's not where I am, it's who I'm with."
"Then you don't understand why you have been saved."
"Was there even a reason? It's something I don't regret but I still don't understand."
"If you want your friends to go to heaven, then take them. You crave change and I have given it to you."
"I don't like change."
"You are the change."
"I keep hearing that God had perfect timing, but how is it perfect? I've almost put this behind me hundred times..."
"I am letting you live...so others can live with you, for eternity."
And then I smiled. I understood.
All in all, I can't say if it was my own thoughts, or the holy spirits but by the end of the conversation that same feeling of being saved doused over me. The shaking knees, the sudden desire to sit down and catch my breath, the sudden urge to praise, to jump, to be naive, to neglect negativities, to be oblivious to the world, to scream out words that I've never even heard before. By the end of it, the revelation was that 'I am the change'. With God's help I can help save the ones I love, to use me to save others. Thats what I believe anyway.
God is love. Love is movement. Movement is change. Change is good.
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