This is pissing me off. Okay I go to church, a youth group and even bible study a few times, but is it all done in vein? Recently, Ive discovered the very fine line that separates the 'word of God' and 'believing in God'.
I'm sorry but I'm just having trouble believing in his supposed 'word', although I have NO trouble believing in God himself. And I guess what throws me off is that I look at Christians on the TV and they preach their hearts out, beating the devil down, blaming the devil for absolutely everything!
well guess what! your wrong. it isnt always a devil. it isnt always God. There is YOU. I am the architect to my own success and dismay. there is no devil. not here. i accept responsibility for ALL of my actions. I accept consequence. Why cant Christians just say 'NO, it wasnt the devil. it was ME!'
and i understand that im not at liberty to speak badly on something i know so little about, but apparently am part of, which makes no sense to me. but i just cant keep it in anymore. christians make me sick. i believe in God and to say the dead honest truth, i havent read much of his word and its hard to believe that this IS his word passed down from 2000 years ago.
look, shakespears plays are changing...whether you want to admit it or not, so will the bible. the meanings will be twisted and manipulated.
i dont know what to believe anymore, i do believe in Jesus Christ, and the bible is looking very erratic right now. i dont know why i feel this way.
i dont want to withdraw myself from all christian activities, i enjoy my church, my youth group and all the in-betweens. but honestly...is this what i believe in?
im on this journey of self discovery, im trying to find truth in the world and beyond and now theres God. God suddenly appears in my life...but what are you trying to tell me?
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