This life...

The situations, the unbearable feelings that cause a near-explosion in my chest, the memories, the past week! It has been nothing but one big roller coaster ride.

Sometimes we just thing 'this could only happen to me'. And I like that. I like living this uncanny life that could not possibly be imitated because of its dangerousness, stupidity and youthful enthusiasm.

I was going to go to a very exclusive club but I had nobody to go with, I was upset the whole night, I had this feeling in my gut that this club was going to be good. I felt the vibes from miles away and all night long I ached to be there. That same night my mother went out with a friend...to that club. When she got home it was safe to say I was completely baffled not at the fact that she went to that club...but the fact that she went on 'indie night' to that club!

The next day I thought I'd listen to some old songs, some I never really cared about. This song played, and somehow every other time it floated around in the air I would push the skip button, but this time it held meaning. It was about life without someone you use to live with. Life goes on. That was the message. Life just goes on. So as I heard this I thought maybe it's time to live a little for myself for once. Do the things that I always dreamed of doing.

That day, I traveled suburbs away to an asian grocer, the contrast between a very western 'me' and the lovely oriental shoppers was painfully evident. It was even comical, I had to laugh at myself simply because I was standing in the exact spot on the world I didn't feel comfortable standing on. A man approached me with a box filled with something magical. Fireworks. So many beautiful explosions. I helped myself to a heap and went shopping to a nearby shopping center. Here, was also fun. We bought toy machine guns. Why? Who knows. They were intrusive, they were childish and they were made in China, that's all that mattered.

Between this time and home time I purchased some t shirts, a wallet, some other things and eventually ventured off home to escape the rest of the hot day. Home is good when you are alone. Loud music at home while being alone is twice as good. So is air guitar.

Now we are living in the night time. Slightly intoxicated, a bag full of fireworks and my toy machine gun my friend and I ran out of the house and out to the tram stop. Nearly every car that went by probably saw us as something more than stupid. But that was ok with me. Didn't they know that doing what you liked made you happy? Didn't they know that there is no age group for rebellion, for fun, for a good time? That night was about break the routine. And we broke it alright. We set off the wonderful fireworks, we drank the alcohol, I bought a burrito and continued my awesome night at one of my favorite clubs. Eventually i did burn out. But that was expected. I woke up the next day at 4 p.m.